

The devil works hard, but by God, Vicki Lawrence works harder. How hysterical would it be after approximately seventeen months of running our environment into the ground if Scott Pruitt popped up out of nowhere to say: "Turn the lights off! You're wasting energy." Unless Scotty boy got to keep his credentials as a souvenir (I'm guessing that's a negative), this is most definitely an inside job where a former staffer was instructed to kill the lights as Trump explained to House Republicans that he's not a traitor, just bad at reading and also context clues and also common sense.Ī Promotional Campaign for the 45th Anniversary of "The Night The Lights Went Out in Georgia" But if she killed the lights, it would be the perfect way to humiliate her husband because you know he hadn't memorized any of those talking points. Unfortunately, someone (likely Trump) misspelled collusion, but Melania knew that wouldn't stop him. In a shot of his notes, in what appears to be thick Sharpie, "THERE IS NO COLUSION" is sprawled across the page. Suggesting that Melania is responsible is more of a wish than anything, but there is slightly more evidence in favor. But as the past few months have gone on, you have to realize she's having a Handmaid's Tale moment and realizing that even as the First Lady, this is kind of a sour deal. Let's start by making sure this is crystal clear: Melania Trump is not a victim. Melania, In the Hallway, With the Light Switch


This was not the work of the intelligence agencies. And then showing up on Tuesday and proclaiming, "Yesterday was opposite day?" You've put these people through enough. Honestly, can we let it rest? I think kicking off Monday by suggesting that the leader of a nation that hacked an American election is more trustworthy than your own country's intelligence agencies is a lot. To say I'm ill-prepared to solve this case would be grossly misunderstanding my qualifications, so for now, let's evaluate my top five theories, and then rank them on validity. Over the past year, on more nights than not, I have drank an entire bottle of red wine and watched shows like Mythbusters, reruns of Unsolved Mysteries, and The Ghost Inside My Child. And that's where I come in-investigative journalist and resident Esquire dot com conspiracy theorist.
